She was placed in my arms. Tiny. So tiny. Sucking her miniscule thumb. Soft hair. So much hair. Everywhere (I looked worriedly at my husband - hair on her ears? Really?). Soft skin. fast breathing. Eyes fluttering. So warm. Wrapped tightly in a swaddle. Her whole small body fit atop my chest. My breath in tune with hers. I expected the overwhelming emotion I felt in those first moments with my new daughter. I expected the explosion of love that I felt immediately. Immensely. I knew I’d cry with joy and cherish every single second those first days in the hospital.
I also expected it to be hard. Scary. Exhausting. I knew I’d be confused and worried. Feel helpless and a little alone. I thought I might break her. I was unsure if I was doing it right. Or wrong. I had been told, actually warned, that there was no manual. That there is no right way. That as moms we each just do our best. And learn as we go. As hard as so many days were in those first months, I expected them.
But along with what I expected as a mom, so much was unexpected. The joy I felt just sitting in silence LOOKING at her. Looking at her sleep. Small spasms in her arms and legs as she fell asleep. Jerky eye movements as she dreamed. Little flickers of smiles shooting across her face. Countless hours I spent just watching her. In amazement. In awe. I didn’t expect to crave the first smile, the first true interactions like I did. I didn’t expect to totally and completely lose myself in her.
And as she grew, months older, then years older, I didn’t expect to still feel such awe. Learning to speak, walk, converse, get dressed alone, read, ride a bike, put her own hair in a ponytail. It all has amazed me. I didn’t know I’d get so caught up in it. Feel fear that I’d miss something. Worry that something would pass me by and I wouldn’t see it. Relish in it. Appreciate it.
I didn’t know with this much love comes as much fear. I didn’t expect or at least realize that when you find SO MUCH JOY in the little moments you feel defeated when they’re gone. And you’re scared that you aren’t living the days as deeply as you should. I feel myself grasping at the moments. Wanting to hold on to them. Capture them and save them. I worry that I wish bad days away. Sometimes I regret that I try to erase ugly arguments from my memory. Because I know that later, down the road, when she’s not HERE, I’ll miss those days. Even the ugly ones. I didn’t expect when she was first handed to me that I’d even have such ugly days. Not me. Not her.
I didn’t expect that I actually would come to find unexpected beauty in the not so pretty moments. The hugs after the tears. Wiping away elephant tears and saying I’m Sorry. Teaching a hard lesson. And learning one too.
My daughter is now 7. I never know what to expect. So it’s all unexpected. But it’s all beautiful. And terrifying. And amazing. All I know to expect is that tomorrow will be different than today. And I’ll be there for the ride.
3 Sprouts is all about the unexpected joys in motherhood. The little moments that might be fleeting but are so meaningful. We put great thought and care into the unexpected details in each and every one of our products. To bring unexpected smiles throughout your days.
What have you found to be unexpected in your days as a mom? If you have a blog, won’t you write a post about it? We’re sharing these unexpected joys on a beautiful blog called Momalom (www.momalom.com). So write your post and link up. Read what others have written. See what other moms have come to find unexpected on this crazy mommy rollercoaster. We’ll be choosing one post on 5/31 that resonates with us most and award the lucky winner $150 in 3 Sprouts products. So come play. And if you don’t have a blog, please leave us a comment here.
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I never expected that it would take the help of doctors for us to get pregnant, I never expected the fear of shots that haunted my childhood would disappear for the hopes of having a child, I never thought it would be me, the chronic sleeper in-er, standing in the lab at 6:30 morning after morning hoping for good news, I never expected to be able to spend month after month on bedrest hoping to keep the pregnancy while my friends were travelling the world and when we welcomed our 2 little sons into the world with more emotions that I ever new existed it was only the beginning of life with the unexpected.
For 3 and 1/2 years I became the voice for my son while he fought for his life. I became a doctor, a nurse, an advocate and most of all his mother. Never knowing what life would bring or if life would even continue from one day to the next. I never expected that by the age of 24 I would be standing by my sons grave and then go home to continue life with his twin. but most of all I never expected how much motherhood would change me and make me a better person one day at a time.
What I find unexpected about being a mom is just how much you can love your children. Having a second and third baby only multiplied my love and made me appreciate and value all of the sweet characteristics that each of my children possess. :-)
The most unexpected thing for me are the crazy sentences that I say! If an outsider heard me I’m sure they would think I needed to be committed!
The moments that take your breath away, their fist laugh (at the sound of velcro), the roller coaster ride of a toddlers emotions, the mischievous glances your way. Knowing that you can make everything better (at least for this one little person) when sad time prevail. The unconditional everything. Being a mum has made me a better person, I feel like I’ve finally come home.
there is so many unexpecteds ranging from extreme lack of sleep for more than 3.5 years to having 2 children that love to cuddle and hug and in doing so have made me change the person i was (ie. pre children i was not a touchy/feely person) BUT if i had to say what i have found the most unexpected was the HUGE range of emotions (eg. love, happiness, joy, fear of losing them or fear of something happening to me and my children would not have a mummy, and other emotions that there are no words for etc etc etc) that my children have brought into my life that i never knew existed and i never would have known existed if i was not blessed with 2 beautiful little beings (that i get to kiss and cuddle everyday) – ohhh it gives me goosebumps just writing this down :)
We are five months into our baby’s life on the outside. There have been many unexpected joys, fears and pleasures.
The past few days I’ve been reflecting on how my mother parented me and my bond to her. The intensity of feelings that arise in me when I consider the power of my first bond is the most unexpected experience to date. I have thought about this in the past but never with the heartfulness that is present now that I am a mother to a daughter.
What a beautiful post! I linked my entry over at momalom— it has been an unexpected pleasure already to find so many fabulous new blogs through reading these entries!
Http://www.mamanervosa.com
My unexpected moment came when I held my sweet little one for the first time and realized how profound my love for him already was. He’s now 14 months and I still am amazed by the depth of my love for this little being!
There are so many unexpectant things about being a parent.
The first is the amount of love you have even before you welcome this gorgeous precious baby into the world.
The second was the amount of guilt and worry you have about every tiny decision you make. What to dress them in, how to hold them, how to play with them, teach them, where you live. Every decision is no longer just about you and you want the best for your child.
The third is the unexpected support you recieve from other parents. Advice (wanted, welcomed or not), stories and a shoulder to cry on. You make friendships that help guide you and give you support through this new venture.
Everything about parenthood and motherhood is unexpected and new, exciting and scary. I am so thankful last year I took this unexpected and wonderful journey.
I don’t have my own blog but contribute on jerseymomsblog.com. Here is my article about the top five best things about unexpectedly having a daughter. http://jerseymomsblog.com/2012/05/top-five-things-about-having-a-daughter/. Thanks for considering for your contest.
I would echo many of the unexpected moments mentioned in the blog, especially with my first girl whom I could literally spend hours just staring at, and at the age of 6 I still feel lost in love with her. With my second daughter however the most unexpected moment this far has been finding out we were expecting her in the first place. We tried for years and had to see a specialist with out first daughter. I also have MS and we had just gone through a process of committing to no more kids due to lifetime medication I was supposed to go on (that would be detrimental to any preganancy). I had taken some time to be sure we felt complete with one and since I was under the impression we likely couldn’t have more children anyways we started the process for medication approval. As part of that process I had routine bloodwork done and waited to hear that I would be covered by provincial healthcare. But the day I recevied a letter saying my medication would be covered, I also got a call from the lab saying my hormone levels were off and something was ‘funny’ with my bloodowrk. Turns out I was 2 weeks pregnant. Suffice to say the medication was put on hold. My youngest daughter is now 21 months – best unexpected ever!
The first night in the hospital was my most unexpected experience ever. During pregnancy, I often day dreamed about the first few minutes after birth, how wonderful it would be when my baby boy was first placed onto my chest. But the surreal set in during my first night of sleep with Baby Luca. His sweet little body, so used to the comfort of the womb, was just snuggled onto my chest and belly all night long. His wiggles mirrored those wiggles that I had felt for so long in my belly. Watching him move, watching him breathe, watching him sleep, it all gave me a whole new feeling about my purpose here on the planet. Luca was here. He was with us. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected to feel the power of love that I felt that first night with my baby boy. That love carries us through each day. He makes me calm and happy. Being a mommy and enjoying the beauty of life with Luca has been the most unexpected gift of all. 3 Sprouts exemplifies what it means to be simple, happy, and lovely. We have a diaper caddy and three bins, and Luca loves the bright and simple colors. With all of the heaps and mounds of baby goods out there, it is sure a nice deviation to have simple, useful, and super classy 3 Sprouts stuff. ;) Long live the muthas of the world. ;)
When I struggled with infertility, I thought that it was the hardest thing I would ever have to go through. And yes, having to take a cooler of injectible medicine on vacation so your husband can give you shots in the abdomen… I’ve had better vacations.
Flash forward ten years and I can tell you that, for me, everything about motherhood is unexpected.
I never expected to not be able to have a baby. I never expected that I would decide to adopt. I never expected that our adoption journey would be such a roller coaster and, because it was, there were times I never expected that my dreams would come true and that I would be a mom.
But come true they did. We brought our little girl home from Russia last October when she was 11 months old. In the months leading up to her adoption we took classes, read books, researched gear, networked with other parents, sought adoption support groups, had baby showers and planned and orgainized all that we thought we would ever need.
You would think, after all that planning, and all that waiting and all that heartache that motherhood would be the easiest thing in the world for me, right? Surely, I would have all the answers rambling around in my brain. But this child showed me, in just a matter of hours, three key things about motherhood:
1) I know nothing. I might have KNOWN it at some point, but in the moment…
2) It doesn’t matter what I did or didn’t know. Every kid, every parent, every day, every moment… it’s all different. I could exhaust myself double-checking or trying to get it right from the 10,000 sources of information I had studied or I could just trust my gut and see what happens. Because…
3) You simply can’t plan parenthood. It doesn’t matter how long you wait, how hard you try, how much you spend, how far you go, how much you read, how much you know, how much you love… etc., etc. – at the end of each day I am still amazed and probably as ready as I’ll ever be to figure it out all over again tomorrow.
I never expected to be the one learning, the one being taught, the one growing up thanks to my son…
He taught me patience and serenity when he wouldn’t sleep anywhere except in my arms, from birth until 3 years…
He taught me how much fun it is to laugh and play at 2:00 AM, when he was 6 months old. Yup, lying on my bed after a feeding, he would make cute faces at me until I would crack up laughing…
He taught me to be a humble parent, answering “I don’t know, but we’ll find the answer together”.
He still teaches me…most of all, to be proud of my biggest accomplishement: him!
Unexpected moments in Momdom….well I’m a stay at home mom and never seem to be away from my girls…mostly because my husband works a lot and someone has to be here (obviously). Last week I actually got to go out with some friends for lunch and upon my return my girls (2 and 4 ) ran to the door calling my name and telling me “we miss you”, maybe this is a common event in other households, but not in mine as it is usually my hubby who gets all of that..(I am the one who puts them in timeout and makes them finish their lunch). Anyways, it was extremely thrilling for me to hear in their own words that they really do love me!
My little boy is just about to start walking. With this comes the inevitable growing pains of a bumped knee, head or elbow. What is so unexpected is the deep, gut wrenching and actually painful feeling I have when this happens. Even more amazing is the comfort we both feel when I scoop him up and we have hugs and kisses of boo boos and nursing and snuggles. I love that I can so quickly turn crocodile tears into huge, two-toothed grins!
I am not a Mom yet, but I have been a newborn nanny for over ten years. About nine months ago I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I are overjoyed to welcome our son. While I feel somewhat prepared for motherhood what I have found unexpected was pregnancy. I never knew I could love somebody so much that I have never met. As the big day gets very close I look at his sonogram picture several times throughout the day. He has chubby cheeks and the cutest nose I have ever seen. I find myself daydreaming about what he will be like. I always knew I would love my child, I just didn’t know how strong the love would be before he was even born. I am thirty seven weeks now, and the doctors think he is a big boy already. Every morning I wake up hoping that today will be the day when we can meet him, face to face. I can’t wait to get him in my arms and give him a big kiss. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
My unexpected joy for my son has been the most basic thing. Breath. I received a call to come to hospital. Something was wrong and my son needed to be delivered now. Through the delivery, briefly seeing my son before he was taken to the NICU and our whole stay there I was clinging to hope and my husband. I celebrated my son eating on his own, breathing and stabilizing his own blood sugar. My joy each night with my now three month old son (who is healthy and home) is hearing him breath. That sweet sound of life so peaceful at night is music to my ears. I never expected a sound on earth could be so sweet.
I love hearing about motherhood like this, as a woman who has struggled mightily for several years with infertility. I guess my own positive pregnancy test was unexpected, in a way, even after doing IVF to get there. I just never thought it would happen. Then I never expected that I wouldn’t be so incredibly grateful for every single moment of my pregnancy. I didn’t expect pregnancy to be so hard, so nauseating, so intense. I also didn’t expect so much kindness from friends, family, and strangers throughout our infertility journey, and this ensuing pregnancy. It’s been wonderful, and I can’t wait to see the unexpected moments in the years to come.
What a beautiful post! And yes- you never can be quite prepared for motherhood until you are in it- and then you still just don’t know.
i found that a little laugh from a baby can change the whole atmosphere in a room!
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